I don't like having friends
They're far too full of consequence
I am a fool, and unconvincing

I cannot shut my mouth for the life of me
For every word that pours out
There's a knife in the back of me

That's the pain I feel
Like KNIVES
That's the pain I feel

You pose a question
I grasp at it desperately
I'm so afraid to answer it incorrectly
So I throw out ever detail and story
Hoping something I say will connect
Will explain

Like maybe if you could see me
Like REALLY see me
All that has been and all that I am
In my entirety
That maybe you could see all of my flaws at once, but each one would leave a trace
Some deep rooted reason or far removed place
Some trauma that tainted me
Maybe it would save you from blaming me
Like I blame me

I'd hate to think that I was responsible for this mess barely standing in front of you.