Apr 2015
night time is when it gets bad
when I was with you I never felt alone
even when I wasn't physically with you
now that we're no more I feel like I'm not allowed to think those things anymore
2. I haven't cried yet
I don't know why
and I mean hard.. I've felt the deep sadness but not enough to make me crawl under the covers and cry for hours
3. periodically I think about the last 3 months
how I have evolved as a person
or I've I haven't even evolved at all
it makes me sick to my stomach sometimes.. thinking of what I did with you
4. you said the word "we"
but I knew we weren't we anymore
but why did you not use the word we when we were actually together?
5. I feel so small now
so frail
I never thought how different we were until now
you have probably hooked up with random girls many times before
and I've never even seen past the fabric
I think that really explains why we broke up
6. I keep trying to erase you from my life
but I'm always reminded
in the shower
on the bus
listening to music
looking at myself in the mirror and wondering what you thought of me
7. I was ready, I know I was
I think that's why I took it so easily
because it had been in the back of my mind for so long but I procrastinated the subject because I never knew what you wanted
because on april 12, 2015 at 11:41am I put on my bullet proof vest
I was ready for the words to stab my ribs like I rehearsed in my head
8. I always knew you were going to be the one that did it
the one to say the words we all avoid
the words that no one wants to hear when they're in love
but I don't think I was in love
I thought I could be
but I was never that deep
because I knew in the back of my mind that this was always wrong
9. where was I for 3 months
after we said our final good byes I drifted safely back to earth
and everything was different
people looked different
I noticed things that weren't there before
and people noticed too
the asked why I looked so happy
was being with you making me depressed?
10. I never did anything while we were together
I never watched tv
or did my homework
or talk to anyone
my mind was always on you
and I hated everyone else
I was so annoyed all the time
why did you make me like this?
11. but I'm glad it's over
I'm not numb anymore
craving everything I couldn't have
your lips
hands or smile
I don't miss it
sometimes I do
but I try to forget
because the only way to move on is to
forgive and forget
so thank you for setting me free
when I was with you I never felt alone
even when I wasn't physically with you
now that we're no more I feel like I'm not allowed to think those things anymore
2. I haven't cried yet
I don't know why
and I mean hard.. I've felt the deep sadness but not enough to make me crawl under the covers and cry for hours
3. periodically I think about the last 3 months
how I have evolved as a person
or I've I haven't even evolved at all
it makes me sick to my stomach sometimes.. thinking of what I did with you
4. you said the word "we"
but I knew we weren't we anymore
but why did you not use the word we when we were actually together?
5. I feel so small now
so frail
I never thought how different we were until now
you have probably hooked up with random girls many times before
and I've never even seen past the fabric
I think that really explains why we broke up
6. I keep trying to erase you from my life
but I'm always reminded
in the shower
on the bus
listening to music
looking at myself in the mirror and wondering what you thought of me
7. I was ready, I know I was
I think that's why I took it so easily
because it had been in the back of my mind for so long but I procrastinated the subject because I never knew what you wanted
because on april 12, 2015 at 11:41am I put on my bullet proof vest
I was ready for the words to stab my ribs like I rehearsed in my head
8. I always knew you were going to be the one that did it
the one to say the words we all avoid
the words that no one wants to hear when they're in love
but I don't think I was in love
I thought I could be
but I was never that deep
because I knew in the back of my mind that this was always wrong
9. where was I for 3 months
after we said our final good byes I drifted safely back to earth
and everything was different
people looked different
I noticed things that weren't there before
and people noticed too
the asked why I looked so happy
was being with you making me depressed?
10. I never did anything while we were together
I never watched tv
or did my homework
or talk to anyone
my mind was always on you
and I hated everyone else
I was so annoyed all the time
why did you make me like this?
11. but I'm glad it's over
I'm not numb anymore
craving everything I couldn't have
your lips
hands or smile
I don't miss it
sometimes I do
but I try to forget
because the only way to move on is to
forgive and forget
so thank you for setting me free
