i can't put in words quite how elated this makes me. i'm embracing the feelings you give me. some of these feelings i have yet to name but they are more a part of me now then my ghosts. there is so many lights in me. there is so much shadow too. but it all is jumbled now, tossed and turned; a welcome turbulence.

i don't know whether to laugh or cry or kiss your face. maybe even do all three. there is not enough of me for you to touch because all of me doesn't encompass this intangible cast of craziness that expands beyond my body. i am finally breathing. i'm not free yet but god i'm close. freedom tastes like time spent with you and you linger all around me.

i can't barely express this, truly. i have the urge to shout from car windows and city tops. i want to run and tumble. i want to lay with you in spring grass and get lost in fields and woods. i want to do so many things, things out of my reach, out of my body.

god, these words will not be enough. but i still try.