It's 2am and I'm sitting here thinking bout you, wondering where ya are, what you're doin.. It's stupid. And idk think you're constantly thinking about me when I'm not around or wondering what I'm doing when I don't answer the phone for days.. I'm too attached to you and from my experience the person who's more attached always gets hurt in the end.. I gotta figure out a way to distance myself a lil bit but I say that a million times a day and I can't follow through....I can't want you around all the time. Even if we were officially dating that wouldn't be healthy.. Idk what I'm gonna do but I gotta do something.. I just gotta
The gravitational force that keeps me orbiting around you seems to outweigh my will to walk away. I don't even want to walk away I get choked up just at the thought of you finally believing me when I tell you "I'm done." We play tug of war with each other Constantly pushing the other well past their limits knowingly and neither one of us knows what we're gonna do when one of us finally gives. This conversation we've had a 1000 times but we never come to a solution Do you obsess over this like I do? Am I just going crazy with all this? Tell me if I'm reading into things that aren't there? Am I hearing words that you aren't saying? Or twisting the ones that you are saying? ****** why do you just shrug with a blank stare? Are you just tolerating all this?? Am I falling and falling into purgatory? Oh my god, here I go again! 3:11am and I am wondering and hoping if that blocked missed call was you.. Chewing on my finger nails hoping you'll or whoever will call back.. Curiosity is a *****.. Constant questions make me feel insane. Do you think I'm insane? Are you just as crazy? Or are you just as attached as I am but can hide it like a champ??
I'm not even tired but I'm talking to myself.. Having a conversation alone trying to answer for you. No answer ever really satisfies me because good or bad I argue it and try to disprove it.. Oh, do I ever need to back off and fall back.. Fall quietly back so you won't notice enough to a argue with me to stop. You always say stop. Just stop. Stop what?