Apr 2015
There's a unique struggle when you're breaking down inside but, you force yourself to look at your face in the mirror
Tear rimmed eyes, puffy cheeks and trembling lips
The hatred you have inside makes you feel as if you're on fire and you turn the cold water on, but just let it run
You're screaming in your mind
"Don't you cry!"
"Don't you dare fall apart like you always do!"
"I can't pick up the pieces anymore... I don't believe in you anymore..."
Your lips stop trembling for a moment
You're not burning anymore, you've gone ice cold as those last words echo in your head.. You continue to stare at yourself and slowly start to lose your breath
It's not the hardest thing in the world to face yourself as you say "I don't believe in you anymore."
That heartbroken look on your face is something you've grown accustom to
What's hard.. Where the unique struggle comes in, is when you turn away from the mirror and head to the other room
Voices of words you can't make out fill the halls as you get closer
You reach the end of the hall and you try not to blankly stare
Not to flinch, tremble or even breath above a whisper
Eyes lingering at you from every direction, no escaping
You know what it's like to stare into your own lifeless eyes, and feel nothing as everything inside of you rots
But the really hard part..
The part that'll never get easier...
Is meeting the gazes of people who no longer believe in you
That's where the struggle begins
Because you know you've given up.. But they won't come out and tell you they no longer have hope for you either.And behind their comforting words, you know they're hollow
They look through you, not at you
Because you're just a shadow of who you used to be
That's when you have to find whatever strength you have left
Even so microscopic and cling onto it for dear life and hold on...
Until the rooms are silent and empty
The mirrors are shattered on the floor
And there's no one left to see..
Nothing left for you to be able to see..
The unique struggle is over
You can let go and crumple lifelessly on the floor and just fall apart
Alone, with no eyes anywhere to watch...
Someone... Please... I'm falling apart....
Tear rimmed eyes, puffy cheeks and trembling lips
The hatred you have inside makes you feel as if you're on fire and you turn the cold water on, but just let it run
You're screaming in your mind
"Don't you cry!"
"Don't you dare fall apart like you always do!"
"I can't pick up the pieces anymore... I don't believe in you anymore..."
Your lips stop trembling for a moment
You're not burning anymore, you've gone ice cold as those last words echo in your head.. You continue to stare at yourself and slowly start to lose your breath
It's not the hardest thing in the world to face yourself as you say "I don't believe in you anymore."
That heartbroken look on your face is something you've grown accustom to
What's hard.. Where the unique struggle comes in, is when you turn away from the mirror and head to the other room
Voices of words you can't make out fill the halls as you get closer
You reach the end of the hall and you try not to blankly stare
Not to flinch, tremble or even breath above a whisper
Eyes lingering at you from every direction, no escaping
You know what it's like to stare into your own lifeless eyes, and feel nothing as everything inside of you rots
But the really hard part..
The part that'll never get easier...
Is meeting the gazes of people who no longer believe in you
That's where the struggle begins
Because you know you've given up.. But they won't come out and tell you they no longer have hope for you either.And behind their comforting words, you know they're hollow
They look through you, not at you
Because you're just a shadow of who you used to be
That's when you have to find whatever strength you have left
Even so microscopic and cling onto it for dear life and hold on...
Until the rooms are silent and empty
The mirrors are shattered on the floor
And there's no one left to see..
Nothing left for you to be able to see..
The unique struggle is over
You can let go and crumple lifelessly on the floor and just fall apart
Alone, with no eyes anywhere to watch...
Someone... Please... I'm falling apart....
