In no mood now
to think of anything ....
In search  of  silence
and   lonliness in dark ...
It’s  a big vacuum
gushing  inside
like  a big wave
gulping everything
erasing  everything
and  then its just a  vast
space of   ugliness ...
darkness enveloping
all around   silently
covering  all filth...  
All good  thoughts  
All bad memories
washed   in tears
soaking  the  pillow
with  grunt and hurt
every night  brings
fears  and  angst
with no hope of
a better morrow. ..