I enter a dark room and see one shed of light
It’s small and fragile and it blankets a child
A small girl of innocence trapped in the shadows.
Acidic whispers echo in her mind
She whimpers and calls out for herself
Her arms become a straight-jacket.
She pulls them around her
Harder and harder till black spots blur her vision
Better black spots rimmed with gold than the darkness that waits.
The shadows creep up her skin she pulls herself tighter
Maybe she’ll die.
Maybe she will survive her.
The gold of the black turns to light summer air
The scent of the wet dirt replaced by wildflowers
The sound of laughter invading her mind
Grows louder and louder.
Sadistic and deafening
A symphony of words spiral around her
Lies, truth and beckoning the darkness now stirs
It moves ever softly and crawls up her flesh
Nostrils fill with metallic rust and damp humid earth
Wildflowers float away and summer breeze recedes.
The shed of light a small wax candle
Melted into the floor
The silhouette of darkness reaches out of the gloom and folds itself around it
She can’t even see the smoke rise as it dies and she’s suddenly gasping for breath
She’s screaming and clawing and the brick walls around her
The serrated edge cuts at her palms
The salt from her swollen tears sting her cuts
She holds them in her hands
Her winter skin laces with darkness
The flame she once felt, out
Just like the candle.
She can’t face what pushes through the darkness
The memories so longingly shunned.
Who remembers such small things besides your innocence
So I watch my child self as her ****** hands fall to her lap.
Fingernails attached to the red smeared rock
She can’t fight
Can’t breathe
Can’t see
She dies
My innocence.
My light
My life.