I guess it makes me feel a little sick
I remember the baby goat
You said
It ****** so hard from the bottle
You wanted to discuss Lancaster
How you think the world of me
Do I think you are a good man?
No,
I dont.

Twirling me in blackness and red
You sat me on the counter
Couldn’t help but touch
But I kept my lips to myself
Water and sorrow spilling from my eyes
I forgot that even happened
But I watched you go, as you always do
You gotta make it about sexuality
Project your downfalls onto me
Your misery and self disrespect
In the air of my cocoon.

Heavy breathing and that same counter top
In the sunshine your face lit up as my presence—
Handing you the epitome of us
You wondered why
I ponder if you soaked it up
Absorbed it, if it made your eyes tear
And I gotta admit, I hope it did.

Couldn’t have been a stronger, more controlled goodbye
Than me hugging you, for the last time
Perhaps I will wear lavender and splatter paint
A ring and newfound life on my soul
As you look on from afar
Knowing what you missed
And tripped out on.


So remembering the feelings
Of placing your hat in your hands
And the only other portfolio of poetry
I have ever extended to a man
I gladly, gladly move along.

Oh Betrayer,
Betrayal never felt so sweet
For I no longer lay my heart on the table
As a treat
For in the morning and in the night
I love me too much for such neglect.

But you wish and you long
You dote on, what we had
But I don’t.
If it could have been different
It just would be.
But you gotta place your hand on my shoulder
Try to get a rise out of me
While I leave and leave and leave and leave and leave and leave and leave and leave and leave.
Thee.


Because.
Swans never flew
I,
Never flew higher.