it is the cycle.
everything is
a cycle.

i'm starting to believe that nothing ever changes
and no one ever changes
and i don't change

the only thing that changes is the number on the calendar
and the temperature outside and the faces that come and go.
but the numbers in my head that add up to equal
the sum of my misguided thoughts
don't change

each and every time
i wonder if it's worth it.

the battles will bend and break me
the battles will tear me down
and the cycle always wins the war.

the cycle says that this is the year
that i, once again, contemplate the end

the cycle says that i am too cowardly
and that it isn't time

not yet.

someday the cycle will say
today is the day:
let go
and you'll be free.