It dawned upon me we had never celebrated Christmas together because You would indefinitely be Out of town.
I remembered the vintage cards you got me for Valentine's though, those you couriered through a friend, accompanied with your sweet note.
I still crave, you know. The basil chicken rice, chicken wings and thai milk tea at our favourite thai restaurant, near the lodge.
Are the ponies still there? I smile thinking back about how I stopped you in your tracks and irritated you with my indecisive texts about our adventure.
Man in black 1 2 3 wasn't as interesting as your sleep talking, really. "Hug more, more" But I swear the air con wasn't helping.
Pasta, and the Jolly Shandy wannabe champagne on your birthday. Percy pig and working hard for pancakes, Do these ring a bell?
1993 shirt Zara perfume A photo of you driving That scar on your chin.
Thoughts come and go you know, it really isn't up to me. "You haven't met enough guys to conclude" Your voice echoed.
I am clear, or so I hope to be. I still know how you like your Subway, and the Harry Potter name of your dog, The dog you think of
As frequently as you thought of me. Friendship. "I tried, and I wasn't comfortable." I tried too, Friendship; inevitable.
There are times you succumb to irrationality too? "Just for tonight" One night, One kiss.
I felt it, you know? I hope irrationality still runs in your blood and it continues to boil you to take action, someday.
Against my interests or not It doesn't matter. Pathetic self inflicted redemption that kills my strength and feminism callings.
I thought I burnt my longing for you along with those stars and cards and correction tape and money and your manly diary.
What burnt was passion and incorrigible stubbornness instead. Blind faith in fate Naked trust in love.
This Christmas I try to give myself a present. I thought long and hard,