Its really hard trying to go to bed when your mind in constantly reminding you of last nights dream, but at least it wasn't a bad dream. It was just something unexpected. I dreamt about him again. I've dreamt about about him at least five different times. All in different places, doing different things. In one dream he didn't even acknowledge me, but I know he knew i was there. I felt him angry with me. Upset to see me, as if he hated me. He just ignored me, and walked passed me like i was always a stranger. In another...i dreamt about our first time that never happened. It was going just the way I wanted our first time to go. Sweet, gentle, scared, nervous, hesitant, but most of all..in love. I remember him stoping because he thought he was hurting me, and i remember laughing at him, bringing him closer to me in an embrace. Only to wake up half way through to an empty bed, & disappointed heart...i don't have these dreams in repeated patterns, i actually don't know when i'm even going to have them at all..I guess they just come when life wants to remind me of him. Its not like I'm ever going to forget, even though I do. I actually don't believe in the whole "its better to have love & lost than to have never loved at all". People really don't know how painful it is. Like last night, when I dreamt of him again. He actually approached ME. And it felt as if he was trying to get us to be like how we once were. I remember being confused, and scared. But i went along with it, and at the end...he just left.  In the middle of us talking he left me..again. Thats how they always end. He sees me, approaches, then leaves..even in my dreams he has a way of toying with me. And honestly, i don't know if it's worth even being able to dream about him. I mean, what would be the point if when I start to have us fall in love again, he leaves, and i wake up remembering that my dreams are the closest thing I get to even be around him.