the stars are incredible tonight and i’m lying here in pain for god knows what reason and i wish you were here because you are the only one who can calm me down and excite me at the same time and i hurt inside but i don’t know why but maybe its because the voices in my head are telling my insides to hurt like that but what do i know i’m just a teenage girl who probably won’t amount to anything because i am lazy and selfish and untalented and not so bright when it comes to school and stuff you know? i am really smart sometimes when it comes to people and their problems but what about my problems? do i have any or are they an illusion created by all the “whats wrong” ‘s and the “are you okay” ‘s and i want to say yes don’t worry but i cant with a straight face a lot of the time so i yell and i cry and i sing, all alone where no one can see or hear me, so i can maintain my angelic facade. i’m the one who helps, not the one who needs help but i do sometimes because i crack and tear and implode sometimes but no one sees it, because i say i’m just fine.