you seem like the sort of person i could tell things to
that I might have never told anyone else.
how sometimes i feel like i'm drowning
and maybe that's why i'm afraid of the ocean.
how the song disorder sounds like the night
and how it makes me feel alive and dead at the same time.
i go to concerts so that the bass can keep my heart beating.
sometimes i lay awake for hours staring at my laptop
feeling numb and empty
and sometimes i wish someone would hold me until
i feel whole again.
i think i would be okay if that person were you.
you've always been so kind to me
in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable.
i don't know what to do with kindness.
maybe you could help me.
i'm not good at feeling things.
sometimes i feel nothing
and sometimes i feel everything
but my feelings for you always made sense
in a way that the others didn't.
i'm bad at talking
let's just drive.
the night air makes me feel alive and free.
i love the way the world looks lit up
and the reflections of street lamps and flickering neon shop signs
and the way their light paints our faces.
you looked at me so gently that night before you left.
i pretend to know the words that were frozen on your lips
and i go to sleep with my heart keeping time with joy division bass lines.