I sit in the corner of my room.
Holding my knees; Rocking back and forth.
I feel alone.
I am alone.
I hold the razor in my hand.
Remembering my promise to never do it.
To never see my blood.
But my life crashes around me.
No one understands me.
No one wants to understand me.
I don't want to go on living a lie.
I want to be happy and free.
I will never be free if I start.
I won't be able to stop
I've got to take control over my life
Be strong.
I close my eyes and the monsters surround me
They come at me,Their claws grab at my throat
I'm terrified but have nowhere to run to
No one to run to
No reason to go on
I want to stay here forever
Rotting away with the spiders
The dust covering my brittle lashes
Here, there is no one to judge me
Or tell me to change
I can hurt no one
Not dragging anyone's life down with me in it
I cry out, fearful of what I have become
I want to go back
But the past is too far gone
I sit here alone
Thinking
Making decisions
Until I run out of time