i’ve waited my whole life for things to get better.
but they never did.

no love i could have ever kept,
no friends whose sides i’ve never left,
no voice pale enough to calm unrest,
no hand to grip my chest and show me how to live.
no smile to greet me openly.
no weight to give me gravity.
no pleasant reassurance,
only ruthless self endurance.

so i’m done waiting, i’ll do this myself.
pride may cause the fall, but i don’t need any of your help.
i’ll watch the stars, and hold their hand,
keep my head towards the sun and trust nothing else.
& i’ll slowly let go of my demands
and let my thoughts accept themselves,
because there is nothing more fulfilling.

you know that simply breathing isn’t living,
that the days can’t be contained by time.
existence is more than a heartbeat,
and whatever you’re looking for, you’ll never find.
so don’t cry to me with broken hearts, you don’t need it anyway.
i cant hear you down below me
so come up here and bury the sky.
i’m not afraid to leave my body to the worms,
but death will come to me on my own terms.

sometimes i stare at the stars and ask myself
if anyone is even listening.