This is not a poem

This is a revelation of self

This is me finding the staples that tighten my skin so that I can finally look like
a man

I know this

I love to share what makes me feel good

Especially people

I want you to feel good

I know

That I am afraid to take showers

Because the moment the water starts running there is nothing to distract my
thoughts

I can stand in the tub for days and never get wet

I know

That so many pieces of my heart

Are in way too many back pockets

My love is like a dime store flier

Beggin’ you to throw it away

Go ahead take a number

I’ll never really be whole anyway

This is not a poem

This is a revolution

Where I finally protest my body like a seizure

And give up on my heartbeat that’s beggin’ you to put your hand on my bare chest again

I know this

I am not characterized by the cancer that I thought once wanted to **** me

And I am not some cutting board

This skin is too calloused to be back stabbed again

And I will no longer stay up nights waiting for anyone to love me

And I am not

And never was

Made of anything designed by God

I know

that if you want me too

I will love you forever

And I know how to hold a grudge just as long

Like an egg on the end of a spoon in a one-man relay race

This is not a poem

This is me

Finally putting together the patchwork

And replacing the stuffing

Double stitched

so that I will not fall apart again