He was weird to me at first. I thought he was an immature kid. Then I saw him a couple other times and he was sweet and made me laugh. Then I started to notice him more and more. I noticed when he was and wasn’t at youth group. One time we were waiting to go into the youth group room and I was across from him and he was staring at me with his beautiful baby blue eyes. We made eye contact a lot throughout the entire time. Then he didn’t go for a couple weeks, but he showed up with two black eyes, he told us how he’d been jumped and it was by then that I noticed I liked him. On our ride home, there was just me, him, and a couple other people left to be dropped off, and I started talking to him and I gave him my email, and he gave me his number. I was so excited I literally ran upstairs when I got home and told my mom about it. Then I created a facebook and added him, then on my sisters 18th birthday, I told him I had a crush on him and we’d been talking all day and I went over to a friends house and we talked all night too. We got together that night. The day I went home from my friends house, we stopped at Save-A-Lot and he was there with his mom and dad. The moment I saw him my heart stopped and my whole body got warm. I ran back into the store after we’d put the groceries in the car, and I talked to him and told him that my mom didn’t know I had a boyfriend, and that I loved him and gave him a hug and ran back out to the car.
Maybe like a week or so later, I went to the library and he was there with his sister. I hadn’t met any of his family at the time, so I had no idea that it was his sister. She’d been jumped by some girls, so we stayed there, she talked to me and asked who I was so I said “I’m Jennifer, Lj’s…” and he said “Girlfriend!” His sister was shocked, and somehow she was like kiss her… it was so cute all he did was say “Hey look at me.” So I did and he kissed me. We walked her home and I got to meet his mom and dad. At first it seemed like they didn’t like me, but eventually I grew on them. I started going over like everyday after school, and we’d usually just hang out at his house. His dad started calling me Goodyear, his sister became my sister, and his mom started treating me like I was her kid too. Him and I grew closer, we broke up over something stupid then got back together. May 18th, 2014 was a special day for me, and it was with him… We were together for the rest of May and part of June then we broke up, but we acted like we were together even though we weren’t. It was a brutal process of getting over him. I wouldn’t eat, drink, I wouldn’t talk to anyone, I’d barely leave my room. I cried myself to sleep every night even the night I slept over at his moms house. I messed up and went over to his moms house with him and his dad started giving me **** so I ran out crying. He chased after me with his dad right behind him and he calmed me down. I went to  his grams house, where his parents were staying, after I’d taken off, and his dad walked over to my house and told my mom I was at their house, and his dad got my meds for me. Then later that night he walked me home while his parents stayed home, and I told him how I felt about him. I told him how he means the world to me and that I’ve never been able to love anyone else. Then my mom told him to back off and he did. He acted like he hated me for almost an entire year. It was brutal for me, and now almost an entire year later, we’re back to the same ****, then feelings I forced myself to bottle up are back, and there’s no way I can bury these feelings again. It’s not the same thing as it was with Everett and me taking him back every time. I haven’t been able to love the same since He broke my heart. And nobody wants to see me that way again. He doesn’t even know the half of it. Every time I even think about him I smile, cry a little, and I get butterflies in my stomach, and my heart starts racing and my mind goes into flashbacks that I can’t control. I see him the way I use to, the way I forced myself not to see him. I see him again, and he’s all I want to see. I’d literally **** for him and his family. He was my world and always has been, nothing has changed towards him except the feelings getting stronger. I just forced the feelings to be bottled up, but only so it didn’t hurt anymore. He hated me or so I thought, and all I wanted was him and everything we used to be. And I want it even more now.