No, I haven't given up yet
   I'm just really lazy
I won't get up and chase you
   so you leave and I'll go crazy
And I won't lie, I'm depressed
   but, man, you just cant see
How content I am with this-
  my mind at work inside of me

It just isn't like me at all
   to fight for what I want
It's just not in my brain
   glowering and gaunt
I'm tired and I'm lying down
   in a grass field so green
Stretching on forever
   innocent and clean

I never was very optimistic
   but I'm not a pessimist
I just don't know how to be happy
   don't know if it even exists
but I don't know how to give up
   how to lie down and die
I don't know, does it make me tough-
   cause I don't know how to cry

No one out there believes
   and I'll say that I don't either
we all lose our bliss sometimes
   so we're all non believers
I don't believe in myself
   and I don't think I can
but I don't feel sorry
  that's just how I am

You know first loves cut the deepest
   first loves, the ones I miss
First love's the one that trapped me
   that made me feel listless
the first love's always the one-
   that seems like a big deal
yes, the first love always hurts
   but quietly I'll heal

It happens very slowly
   but the burns will scab in time
and eventually they'll fade away
   the scars throughout my mind
and I still won't have a thing to say
   Oh, the silence, how it taunts!
I said it once, I'll say again
   it's just not like me
      to fight
         for what
            I want...