it's happening again,
that monster is creeping up again.
it never really goes away...
i can try my hardest but it's never possible to outrun who you are..
                                                                                                           not really.
i can be a good girl,
the best there ever was.
the beast can be tamed, it is a proven fact.
it has happened before, it will probably happen again..
                                                               but it isn't right now. not even close.
i have been set free.
it wasn't what i wanted,
but it happened anyways.
                                                                                         and now here i am
too long without the feeling..
the excitement of knowing in that moment they have never
                                                                                      wanted anything more
than they want you right then. right there.
                                       to be touched, to be kissed, to be needed.

my demons refuse to be drowned,
                                                                      they have learned how to swim.
and they are hungry.....

I am feeling like myself.
I am not sure that is a good thing.
I will find a way to get what I want.
I will not care who I hurt getting it.
I am back to myself.
And I want to be touched again.