When I feel especially weak
When my knees turn concave
I see a flash of darkness beneath my eyes
In that space where imagination usually lies
I see the friend that I ripped off in the shower
Using my grandmothers old magic I said depart from me
It's coming back
The darkness is thriving
In this cold silent winter
I am barely surviving
Skin and bones
And so much time spent alone
I was not built to be a hermit
Yet I am the living definition of it
Occasionally I reach out for the sun
Send a note to a loved one
But from all the days I've chosen bed over them
They grow distant
They grew concerned
And then they grew numb
Because you can't care for anyone who doesn't care for themselves
Pry me from the ground
Dig me up from this shallow grave
Spoon feed me hope and optimism
Because I feel as an old woman
At the end of her days
When I should be a thriving spirit
Golden, glowing, and unafraid