This is beginning to feel like I'm in a recurring nightmare.
They all start and end the same way, varying only slightly in between.
It's almost a problem for me: how easily I am to rely on people; how quickly I forget that they were meant to leave.
I place my trust, my identity, my joy, my heart in these people.
And every time I do and things are going better than to be expected, they leave.
It's not that we simply drift apart or become distant for a short time.
It's that every single person that I have entrusted to see the real me, every person that I trust with my life had packed their life up and left me.
Left me all alone.
Now, I am not a victim. I refuse to play the victim role.
I just can not wrap my head around a reason why this continues to happen.
Was it something I said?
Something I did?
Perhaps it was something I didn't say?
Either way, what's done is done.
I simply wish that I could find a way to escape this nightmare.
But it's so hard to wake up from a nightmare
when you're not even asleep.