I knew one day you would leave
But I still couldn't have prepared myself
For the excruciating pain
That came from loving you

I recall nights spent in circles on my floor
With tears spilling from my eyes and wrists
I remember your face when you promised to stay
You seemed so sincere

Maybe you didn't mean for us to end that way
Maybe you thought we really would last forever
But I grew bitter
And you grew sicker
And the stitches that held us together
Began to rip from the seams

I tried to tell myself
That you would come back some day
That we would meet in a coffee shop
And know that losing touch was a mistake
But instead
I see you at parties
And through mutual friends
And I sleep in the same bed with you sometimes
But I'm not allowed to touch
Not allowed to kiss
Your body
So I sit on the edge of the bed
And listen to you breathe
You were always such a peaceful sleeper

I wish I would've known
That all the nights I spent bawling
And all the phone calls I'd make to you
Would not change the fact
That you don't love me
Anymore

So I feel like I should say sorry
For calling your mother at 3am
Just to see if she could get you to talk to me
I am sorry
For the nights I spent asking you
To come back
When I knew you didn't want to

I'm sorry
For bugging you
I'm sorry