LOOKS, LOOKS, LOOKS
that's all anyone ever talks about anymore
and I'm so **** sick and tired of it

People
insult me and put me down
but what they don't realize is
I put myself down
every single time I look in the mirror

So I avoid looking at my reflection
hoping to escape my demons
Praying that my very presence won't offend
wishing my eyes would stop seeking
the imperfections

I'm surrounded by guys
and being the only girl I'm a target
they take their chance
and one by one take a shot at me
They say it's only teasing but if that were true
then why do you always say these things?

So before they can diss me
I diss myself
I always say dissing myself
is better than being dissed

They tell me I'm beautiful one minute
then claim to rather commit suicide than
be attracted to me
and I hide beneath clothes
hiding my body as best as I can
and hide my identity with my hair

I remember being compared to other girls
they were always angels
and I was just the monster hiding under the bed

Ask anyone and they'll say I'm strong
nothing will ever hold me down
but that I'm a little insecure
but they don't know that
beneath the rough exterior is just a girl
with a heart
begging to be loved

I've always been the strange quiet one
with her face stuck in a book
a passion for music
and a love of writing

But back in elementary
I never ate breakfast
a few spoonful's of yogurt for lunch
and a bite or two of dinner
I was so skinny my family called me
Flaca, skinny in spanish

Everyone always said
"you're just so skinny and small"
and never glanced at me twice
but now that I eat they all say
"you're such a fat ***"
I'm still just a sack of bones
just with a little more meat now

And I remember being told for the first time
"you're beautiful"
but I never believed
not after being told I was liked but
that I wasn't good enough to be dated
or that I'm a "mega *****"
"if you're going to be weird don't talk to me"
"you have a witchy nose, like Pinocchio"
"fat ugly lips"
and "******* ugly as ****"

No I never believed the
"you're beautiful" line
because I never felt beautiful
or even deserving of that stupid line
and now I'll admit
I'm afraid to believe or even think for just one second
that I could ever be
Beautiful