I held peace in my hands
Not long enough to count
The seconds of immeasurable bliss
But long enough to remember.
Long enough to remember
The shades of grey it took on
After being held far too long

I held love in my hands
Though it was only metaphorical
It was merely a dream.
It was the most beautiful entity
I’d set my eyes upon
In one of my moments of lucidity.
By far the most beautiful thing
I will ever come to acknowledge
As my own

I held life in my hands
Long enough to have handfuls of memories
That keep me up at night
Wishing for just one chance
To change the past
And as I held that life
I saw the cancer invade these cells that I held
And I helplessly watched
As the purity faded away.

I began to wonder,
As my hands were so empty they began to shake.
With all these fantastical things
I’ve held at one point or another;
We’re they simply dying
Because I drove the rot into their bones?
Or was it much more complicated,
Was I not holding enough time
In between my fingers
For them to thrive?