I never want to lose you..
for weeks I worried that you would just disappear..
that you would be gone without a trace..
that maybe I imagined you..
This beautiful person who made my heart smile..
Then I feared that you would stay..
as my heart fell in love with a person that I can never have...
I wanted to bandaid my heart in the preparation of your leaving..
just rip you out and pretend that we never happened...
I never did...I couldn't bring myself the unknown..
I just stayed....
And then you were gone...with a snap of her fingers...
I floundered...
I became so angry and hurt
this aching hole where my heart had been..
yet I continued to love you..
as days turned into months the aching lessened...
I pushed past and pretended..
I told myself never again...
yet you stopped me...
As I stood there staring in your eyes I knew it'd never be over...
I took your words and held them in my hands...
letting them fall to the ground...
like good luck pennies..
that's all they are ever worth in the end..
You convinced me to stay with the smile and lies..
I still never want to lose you

E.J.M