It's been nearly a month,
And I've spent more nights drunk,
Than I have in the last year,
Just so I can sleep at night.

Dad I wish you were here,
So you could see me clean,
And know that everything,
Would be alright in the end.

I overdosed yesterday,
And I swear on your grave,
The one I will never see,
That I prayed to you that everything would be alright.

I didn't pray to God,
If he even exists,
I prayed to you,
That I wouldn't black out.

I prayed that Raquel wouldn't,
Have to bury me,
That you'd keep me awake,
Long enough for the ****** to leave my body.

I wanted to die,
I swear to all I love I wanted that black abyss,
No heaven, no hell,
Just darkness.

I say I swear to God,
But I don't know if I believe anymore,
All I know is that I couldn't die,
Because now I have reasons to live.

****, I nearly went out the way I wanted,
Still young and high on dope.
But the thought of you kept me awake,
In the hospital parking lot.

I prayed mom didn't have to know,
Not that I'd care if the dope had done its job.
But the thought of dying in my sleep,
Made me puke.

Come on Dad,
I know you've no body to come back to,
Now that they've turned you to ashes,
But **** all if you didn't fight your way back to us.

It's been nearly a month,
And I've been drunk more times than I can count,
Just so I can sleep,
And not forget you.