To you, my sweetest of poisons,

I hope you know I loved you.
Sometimes I still do.
Your presence gave me warmth
Your words gave me worth.
I looked into your eyes and found home.
I watched you smile and my heart leaped.
Then I told you how I felt,
How you were different than the rest to me.
And you didn't care!
Our friendship was unchanged
Maybe that's not true.
It was stronger.
My love for you had grown,
But in a different direction.
It was in a weight class all its own.
Stronger than platonic,
Different from romantic.
I loved you, yet couldn't have you.
And I was completely happy with that.

Though you were the sweetest poison,
You were poison nonetheless.
A distraction placed in my path.
But you didn't know, how could you?
You found a gem,
I was sent a trial.
And like any poison, no matter how sweet,
You threatened my very life.
I knew of the danger, but I didn't care.
I wanted you in my system.
Simply put, you felt good.
Talking to you, being with you,
It all just felt so good,
In a way I had never known,
And have yet to know again.
But it all collapsed around me,
A curtain weighed down by reality.
I would die if I kept you.

Rehab was awful.
Sometimes I still go through withdrawal.
Thinking of the sweet bliss you gave me,
Replaced by a dull numbness.
I've known many poisons,
But you were my sweetest.