Strive for the best
Live through the worst
Fight off the itch
I'll never come first
Selfishness
Comes with a price
If you're not alone
You have to pay it twice
Reach for a glass of courage
Slap
Light the up the fumes
Slap
Grasp for the knife
Slap
**** out the light
Fine
Awake and confined
No zephyr propelled cloud
To guide my dreams tonight
Look into the dark
Fear myself more than it
Feel what you don't
Hate myself for it
Crave snaps into my brain
****** thoughts in violent refrain
Not just a bad day
I can handle all that
I can only say
I've had nightmares before that
Craze
Frenzy
Thirst
Angry
Wheezing
Groping
Never hoping
Memories pierce
Hatred provoking
I can literally feel myself choking
But you'll be satisfied
If I do it silently
Sobriety makes me wish myself
Into nothing
Live in my head
Not a happy tenant
Force words out into the void
In hopes to be repentant
But I sin more than I breathe
And it difficult when I have no air
Just laying awake and screaming in silence
So not to wake one sleeping near
Guess I'll accommodate
They say they'll accept me
But not my self hate
It's unattractive
And looks poorly on me
Though it's my beings natural majority
I fear it's just a matter of time
When my good intentions
**** up my life