I was an afterthought.
A question
A doubt
A maybe
A someday
An eventually
An I'm not ready.

I felt safe with you.
can you believe that kind of ******* irony
you were home
even when you locked me out
even when I smashed your windows
and you still wouldn't let me in
you were a light at the end of the tunnel
even when you were the ******* tunnel
even when I bled from your wrists
even when the all six shots never missed
even when the only piece of you left to hurt was me
even when you hurt me
you were safety.

now I keep thinking how you feel in his arms
I hope he is a house that will never be home
I hope he never ever writes you a poem
I hope he can't **** the emptiness out of you
I hope he can never make you feel as happy as I do
I hope you miss me every ******* day
I hope you know that you will remember me as the one that got away
Because I ******* am

I am not an afterthought.
I am an answer.
a first choice.
an only option.
a right now.
I am the light at the end of the tunnel
I am the one you couldn't regret leaving any more.
I am closing your door.