He had the baby today.

I know better...

It will be so hard for me to sneak and text him during the day now.
I figure, I can move on with my Latin lover and be secure in what we've been building these past 5 years.
But he doesn't entice me to be the woman of his dreams or to play house with the "normal" gender roles.
I'm aware he doesn't deserve me.
He never has.
Still two children and a half past later, I'm still here.
What am I doing to myself?
While my youth is slipping away, he had his second child today.
I will go home and make nice with my Latin lover in order to make him feel like a man and for me, It will make me feel as if I've filled that void of the love this Latin man can't give me.
His past has him trapped in a place I can't reach.
Not because I don't understand but more because it is all out of my age range.
While I'm resting my head on his chest, arm wrapped around his body, mind thinking on how his baby was born today, I will always remember where I should have been.