And it gets harder to say the words I want to say.
They get stuck half way up my wind pipe
And I choke on their jagged edges.
I find my fingers back in my mouth, gnawing at the finger nails I tried so long to grow out.
Where has my breath gone?
Where has my courage disappeared to?
My will,
no longer a thing,
overcome by blurred childhood memories.
So I sit quietly and observe,
In envy at those with a voice.
In envy at those with a courage and will that blazes as hot as the sun.