Sometimes I just can’t hide my disappointment
When slowly the color trickles out of my day
The patina is scrubbed off, and all is said and done
I look back and am overwhelmed with all that I’ve lost.
Days like these I can hardly get out of bed
I am weak and easily convinced, if you just hold me up
Because I’m here trying so hard to stand, with the weight of my memories tight to my chest, but it’s all too heavy.
All these memories like stones
People like ropes
Holding me fast.
It is so easy then, to dwell on all the hardships,
The relationships that have been taken from me
And others ended in negligence.
I really wish I could say I’ve grown in your absence
But most days I feel like the child you left me as.
Wide-eyed and blinking in the face of it all.