Part of Edna's "Barry Hodges' Sad Recollections" Sequence*
People think that Brussels is an interesting city, Full of beer, full of mussels and pommes frites And easy to buy a really nice box of chocolates (Personally I prefer the dark ******* as they are less sweet). But there is another side to the city Believe me, I know, I have been there And I have seen it in all its shocking terror.
I was there, just off la Grand' Place (Grotemarkt in Flemish), With my younger sister, a fat and ugly girl, Who had a very pronounced lisp and a lot of oozing ****** spots, When a gang of ill-dressed American youths, Probably the sons of wealthy businessmen or diplomats, Sky-high on coca-cola, or whatever vile filth, Attacked us, mugged us, gave us a total bashing-up, And we ran quite hard but could not escape from them.
And they left her lying there in the gutter, Her legs broken to bits and her head half-chopped off, And for what? They were envious of her false hairpiece (as it made her look half-human, a major improvement). She dragged out a miserable half-alive existence For a few awful months in a dilapidated infirmary; Dear God, she will not be going to Brussels again In fact she will not be going anywhere at all, Apart from into an early grave, that is.