I feared the dark as a child,
I feared my parents divorcing.
But mostly I feared drowning,
The water filling your lungs
Slowly suffocating you.
But now as a teenager I see drowning much differently.
I'm not being slowly engulfed in water.
No its being suffocated by self image,
Self worth.
How everyone preseves you slowly pushes your head under the metaphorical water.
Do you know how it feels to cry waterfalls cause of everyones perception of you?
Slowly drowning yourself with over thought thoughts.
The mind shoving blurs of never being enough,suicide, self harm and importantly self hatred into your brain and bones.
It's like a web of disorder is being spun around your body,
You can feel it constricted tightly into your skin cutting.
Every snicker, every glance, every whisper,
Seems to be about you.
The pure feeling of being naked infront of a room of people even If fully clothed is unbearable.
Uncomfortably, insecurity, self hate.
That's true fear.