I'm gonna leave
this world I'm giving up on
there's too much crap
to much pain
to much.......
what is left
what can there be
what can become
why am I asking
there's nothing I can do
nothing I can see
nothing......
I'm done
people all around
trying to be real
when they are so fake
it's unreal
.....like I said
so fake.......
I can't do this anymore
can't live like this anymore
I'm grabbing the glinting metal
I run my thumb over the edge
I smile as the blood trickles down
that metallic red
so thick and beautiful
it runs from the shallow valley
I gasp as I press the edge into my palm
just a quick pain
then nothing
a beautiful thing
the most wondrous loss
I've ever felt
I run my fingers through the gush
it is my paint
I can place it on the page
and make a beautiful disaster
because it is
*it's my beautiful disaster