i must admit i am a bit mad at myself for closing my eyes and collapsing into black sleep
instead of making the short trek to curl up under your breath

you loved a girl once who took a liking to me
she would say, 'girls are stupid, except for you'
you were a passing thought that kept on passing, running through my brain like a marathoner on the move.
Meisner tells actors: don't invent; don't deny
i grabbed onto the latter while

your leg was getting crunched by a bike and your heart was getting crunched by that girl i buried myself under the loss of a friend i might have loved but never declared while you were avalanched with more **** than an outhouse

i was feeling a feeling in the corners of my toes and
the tiniest butterfly kisses in my lungs
and in the florescent lights of high school, pen to paper and head wrapped in something i couldn't touch
something breathed on my neck and convinced me that what i wanted to exist

exists.

and oh, how it does.