you slid your thumb into my pulse like a thimble
pressing hard enough to stain –
my body has always been a crime scene,
you
just make it visible.

death groomed me for many years; it
told me my blood was honey and honey deserves
to be suckled

it told me
I could never be a fantasy
until I fantasized of dirt and weeds filling me, worms ******* me
and using my empty womb as a carousel

taunting me – “I’ll make babies
fall out of you just often enough
you will start to believe you could love them
if only they’d stay”

and now
pearl strings of *** spiral down my abdomen like
small intestines,

sticking and staining and staying.