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May 2011
I stand by my decision of forcing you out of my life.
And the tears that are forming are merely weaknesses taking advantage of my broken night.
I haven't missed you in months.
Anger has taken firm grip of my heart and I haven't grieved your escape since that first night.
But I was the one that escaped your tortuous words that exhausted all my strength.
I gag at one memory, but the others flood my mind, ones of times when you supported me, and let me cry on the phone.
You were my best friend, but you've been replaced.
But tonight I'm trying to find something in her that is impossible to find because it doesn't exist within her.
It exists within you.
It exists within all of our walks, talks, and exalted dreams.
It exists within the fears we secretly held, but didn't even let ourselves think of.
And I haven't craved your companionship in ******* forever and I can't stand this agony.
But I stand by my decisions, especially when I know they were borne of reason and logic.
ER Graves-Swinney
Written by
ER Graves-Swinney
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