I never even thought how hard
it’d be, to watch you with him.  
Silently observe him sip coffee
you might have made,
while he sits close enough to whisper
the lines I love through your hair
that’d catch on his lips,
if they weren’t silent.

It hadn’t occurred to me
that seeing your left hand,
dangle there next to his, empty,
could hurt more than if your
head was buried in his chest
which a week ago
stung like watching a bee
eviscerate itself in my palm.

I hadn’t realized I had no idea
how this would end.  Could I even
see myself sitting next to you in class,
holding your hand, whispering the words
just to taste your hair? I can dream
these things, like I’m dreaming now
but it’s just as hard to know this
as it was to know we
existed.