Sometimes I wonder
Did everyone else get some sort of secret instruction manual when they were born?
How to keep friends?
How not to mess up every relationship you've ever had?
Romantic or not?
How to experience love at first sight?

It's exhausting
I wonder how people put up with life

I was born without it
This instruction manual
Because I've heard the phrase
"We knew from the moment we first saw each other."
Knew what?

I've heard
"We've been best friends since forever, we knew it from the moment we met."
But how!?!?
How do you know the good from the bad at a first glance?
Is it a pheromone I just can't smell?
Some secret language I never learned?

It's so hard
I don't know how people keep living
I don't know how I keep living
I'm not afraid of death
But I'm not going to welcome it with open arms
Even if the thought of it gives me hope of going home

Because if I were to welcome death
Everyone around me would fade away

I stay alive for the same people
That I can't tell if they're good or bad
But I've grown accustomed to them
I suppose it's because even the bad people deserve sympathy

Do I deserve all the crap they dish out?
No
But I can handle it

Have I ever met someone and just "knew"
Not in my life
But I've heard it said about me so it's a half victory

These stupid misfits
I wonder
Were they born the same as me?
Can they tell the good from bad?
I wonder
If they genuinely care about me

Or maybe I'm just a fool being used
Sometimes I really wonder