what for?  rambling peasants trying to let out a fury, fumbling with their sentences, letting their indulgences take over after grueling hours taking orders, what for?  A sacrifice for a kind of freedom?  what kind of freedom?  what am I seeking exactly?  You're questions are too many, your judgments multiply and snowball, stick together like monkeys in the barrel, you are chaotic, and I am fragile, what gives, why do I do this?