Feb 2015
Hi, I’m Sam and I’m a girl. Well, a girl trapped in a 40 year old body is more like it. I feel, think and act like a kid. Great for me! Maybe that’s part of my charm, or maybe that’s why I’m alone. I don’t really know, I’m just starting to get to know me. For the longest time I lived in a world of haze, *****, ***, drugs, and more *****. Days would go by and I couldn’t tell you what I did. Pretty scary waking up on a Monday morning thinking, “What day is it? Am I working today?” How the hell I kept a job is beyond me.
Actually, I didn’t keep one. How humiliating. I wasn’t even drinking at work, I was just a little buzzed from the night before. Ok, a lot buzzed. So buzzed that I don’t remember the first three hours at my desk, talking to customers -- nothing, just nothing -- zippo, blank! Absolute blackness, even now looking back at that day, it’s all a blur. From the time HR came to my desk to bring me to the hospital for a breathalyzer, until I called a cab and went home crying. I had to make a stop along the way to the liquor store, of course. I was actually mad at them! How dare they? Now I can laugh about it, then it wasn’t so funny. Especially since it took days for me to realize I was unemployed.
Actually, I didn’t keep one. How humiliating. I wasn’t even drinking at work, I was just a little buzzed from the night before. Ok, a lot buzzed. So buzzed that I don’t remember the first three hours at my desk, talking to customers -- nothing, just nothing -- zippo, blank! Absolute blackness, even now looking back at that day, it’s all a blur. From the time HR came to my desk to bring me to the hospital for a breathalyzer, until I called a cab and went home crying. I had to make a stop along the way to the liquor store, of course. I was actually mad at them! How dare they? Now I can laugh about it, then it wasn’t so funny. Especially since it took days for me to realize I was unemployed.
