I've forgotten how to feel sadness and I thank God
I've forgotten the tremors you made me feel
And the reverberations of your forced body into mine
I've forgotten my mother's glazed eyes when I told her the three unspeakable words: "I was *****"
It all seems like a memory now
Yet I can't hear or taste or read the word "****"
They say language breaks down barriers
And in this case it is the barrier to the flood of emotions that stay tightly coiled in a black box in the base of my body
I couldn't tell you whether it's floating along my blood stream
Or scraping the insides of my uvula
All I know is that when this language is learned,
I. WILL. BREAK.
I think I will break.
But then again I have God. And I am okay again.
I can face the day again.
The day God leads me to the steps of the Tower of Babel and I reach the highest point of my gloom
Let's pray I'll be able to bear it.