I gots
my hair wrap on,

b'cuz

I
just finished

doing/sewing in
my  own
weave.

Did my own nails
and feet
too.

I got too many
mouths to feed


Ain't got time to go
to a shop.


He's
staring at me
tonight.

I got on
my cut off sweats
and
my tank-top.

I watch him too
as
I walk to the kitchen....

I stop
&
focus on my task...


Bacon ,eggs, bread

and

homemade orange juice.


I look over again

and

I noticed the look
on his face,
as
I reach
for
2 eggs...

He stands up
&
walks over to me....

Looking at him
as
he approaches
sends shivers
down my spine,


I unwind- reminded
of this mornings event.
He wants to touch me

but
drops
his hand

and

the tears
that
start to role down
my face
leaves me feeling dazed.
Crazed!

I walk past him
and
smell
the pan burning.

Burning
away my

uncried
wales....

The pain

The hurt

The deeds been
done.


This morning

I felt new beginnings
while life swept away....

Unforgiving.

It's 8pm
time to go to bed,
sleep eludes me
as
I star blankly
up at this movie,

I allow.......
Him
to cook and finish
what
I started.

He's watching me again.

I want to pretend that
I don't notice
but
my voice
get choked
as
I tell him
I did what

to
me is unforgiven.

He
tells me I'm sorry,
it's for the best.
I cry out
No
it's just best for YOU!
....
O'PLEASE

forgive me

if I don't believe you.
I throw my wedding ring
at him
saying

I no longer want it!!!

NO......Not
after this morning.
I feel my *******
getting wet,
It's not what you think..

&
I know its time
to
change
my **** pad,

He
looks at me as
I run to the
bathroom.........

I'm sitting
here
on a toilet
as
he's
repeating
his plea
to forget
&
forgive.


It's now
8:48 pm

I wash up
&
come out....

I tell him
I loved you
But.......
To
abort
his seed,
my eggs
"I"
can
never
be..........

Forgiven!

Always Me Ayeshah


Copyright © Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved