my book was moved aside he glared why do you read why bother he nearly shouted my ears rang as i answered to escape the simple words dripped from my chapped lips like a summer rain ending a month long drought to escape? his voice pressed against my ears probing my mind with its sharp blade of doubt and contempt i cleared my throat and adjusted myself to explain yes sir to escape my voice as soft as the hum of my clothes whipping twisting and dancing in a sudsy technicolor ballet to escape from the mediocre soap opera my life has become from maybe maybe not pregnancies to mental family members from the woman that glares and analyzes me in the mirror every morning to the shroud of invisibilty that cloaks me as i walk the streets from the cruelty of the midless drones that run this world to the intelligence that is masked and stepped on for a higher belief he looked at me up and down transfixed or realizing he is getting more than he bargained for i patted my book's soft leather binding and a weary smile crossed my face in here i can be whomever i want to be in here i can live the life i believe i deserve i can be a queen of anything lovingly doted on by her loved royal subjects but when the pressure becomes too much the next day i can be her lady-in-waiting who steals secret glances and secret moments with the queen's favorite palace guard or i can be the evil villianess who traps the world's beauty within her septer's globe but when my heart freezes with her cool intensity i can warm my soul as the handsome hero who tricks the greedy villianess and releases the beauty for the world to share the buzzer announces the intermission of its ballet as i press the start button flashing the lights announcing it's finale i check my phone no new messages flashes on the screen i cooly shove it back into my pocket and retreat to my book once again his razorblade eyes cut through the bounded pages knicking my half-closed eyelids but your life sounds far more interesting out here in reality that word wraps its barbed wire tenticals around my soul and begins to strangle no no no in here i give my book a harder tap in here he loves me for who i am not who i will hopefully be someday in here i let out a soft sigh and sink back into my chair when i say "i love you" i believe it a knowing smile spread across his wrinkled face creating a timeline of his years spent washing and loving drying and hurting he pats my exposed arm and retreats to his basket of antiques ready to fold of course he found my life to be better here his hand is on the remote he can change the channel leaving me behind the static of the humdrum within the glass of agony and self-loathing as i turn the page the soft crinkle resonates against the hums and the buzzing and the soft murmurs acting as my mute button