he told me,
with a confident voice and alluring eyes that he loved me
he said that it was me and him and the music against the world
and even though i promised myself it was only
one drink; i knew then and there
that i had sold my soul to the green-eyed boy
who lit a cigarette the first day we met
and my heart next
ii.
sometimes when people tell stories of drugs,
they forget to mention the ones that live
across the street and dress in all black and
roll joints even with their cousins in the car,
“because a good song came on”
no one ever warns you about that type of addiction;
the warring kind that not only messes with your
body but also with you mind
or at least he did to me
iii.
i only wanted to have one drink, i swear
but somehow the lines between one and five were crossed
and even though i don’t remember anything, i
have no regrets because i was happy
we were dancing, the music was loud, the people were fun
and i was so happy; i don’t think i even knew what happiness was
before that, before staring into your eyes at midnight and
knowing that i was your only one
iv.
if i’m telling the truth,
somewhere deep in my heart; I knew that
you were already gone from me,
that you were never going to be the same after that night
and neither was i; because at that point
you were addicted to the feeling of nothing
and i was addicted to you
v.
i was only trying to catch up to you,
that’s all i really wanted to do, catch up
because i knew if i didn't you would find another girl who could
and i couldn't have that
so i drank and i smoked the night away except
this time it didn't feel as good,
it was sickening
but i smiled anyway because you said that i look
pretty when i smile; even though it was fake
vi.
we live in different worlds, you and i,
although at the end of the day it was the same thing
because even though we were addicted to two very different things
i can see myself in you; and it should scare me
but it doesn't because i had already
sold my soul to the green-eyed boy
who lit a cigarette the first day we met
and my heart next

live fast,
die young,
be wild,
and have fun
(it’s not that much fun anymore)*

(h.l.)