head hung low

he used to get that far off look in his eye whenever we talked about family.

I was looking at the floor too so

I was the only one who saw teardrops land on his toes

and when our teacher called for us to begin

our heads snapped up

and nobody could read us wrong.

later in the parking lot

while everyone cleaned

blood and sweat from the carpet and themselves

we held each other

and cried again.

now that he’s no longer part of our family

I wonder if he wouldnt mind

if I held him anyway.