Trying to make you happy was like choosing a, b, c, or d
for six million questions
that only consisted of True or False
I don’t even think you realized setting up a roadblock
in every direction you led me

You were always under construction
and your sign was always turned to a hard STOP
as I waited for a gentle GO SLOW
that you can’t promise me will ever even come
Waiting
and waiting
and waiting for your sadness to pass
so that I might push through to you just one more time

My blood could never circulate evenly enough
to keep my hands and feet warm in the winter
I thought it was okay because yours couldn’t either,
and you said you'd loved the red of my cheeks
but frozen people are just that-
frozen
I guess that's why your eyes kept the same
cold stare in the summertime

If I am a spider, you’ve hit me with your newspaper
You aren’t afraid of me
You don’t even have to think about the options:
I could keep her in a mason jar;
I could let her escape through the crack of the window;
I could let her be herself for just one more day
You just do it
Maybe it’s funny because maybe that’s what you do to yourself
every time you remember you’re still here

And tomorrow, you’ll read the paper as if today never existed
As if you hadn’t watched me wither and tremble
and plead
  and plead
    and plead
and turned the other cheek
As if you haven’t done this a thousand times before