17
i need you to come back.

16
i wake up in a hospital.

i hate myself.
i need someone to stay.

16
i am so happy.
i think the pain is over.

my mom pulls me off of the floor.

16
my boyfriend loves me.
he leaves bruises on my body
and he knocked me out
but i love him.
he needs me.
he gets angry when i do not answer my phone.
he cares.
he wants me.

15
i stop eating.
i attempt suicide 5 times.
i have no friends.
i love pills. i love razors -
no one stays, but they do.

14
i cut myself.
i sit alone at lunch.
i love pills.
i do not believe in god.
i rip my hair out.
i am my mother's burden.

14
mom.
sister.
i can’t breathe.
how is it possible that i am drowning when i'm breathing in air?

13
mom.
sister.
a quiet home.
the silence strangles me.
i need a friend, but i have no one.

12
my step dad's funeral,
my grandpa brings his new wife who hates us,

i am angry.
i am alone.


12
my mom is home,
i am excited.

my world fell apart.
i never said goodbye.
i hate myself.
i hate this world.
nobody stays.

12
my mom and step dad,
mom leaves to stay with him in the hospital.
i want them both here.
he is my best friend.
i hate hospitals and nurses and hospital food.
i hate. i hate. i hate.

11
my mom and step dad,
he goes to the hospital often.
when he is gone, we order pizza and eat noodles
i hate the taste.

10
my mom and step dad,
mom hides his pills.
he searches for them frantically, like a scavenger hunt.
i love step dad.
i hate pills.

9
my mom and step dad.
my step dad is very sick.
my step dad loves pills.
i love my step dad.

8
my mom and step dad.
my grandma's funeral,
she was my best friend.
i feel alone.

7
my mom and step dad,
they don't scream.
i loved being a flower girl,
i felt pretty.

6
my mom.
did I do something to make him go away?

5
my daddy couldn’t wait to leave.
why is daddy leaving?

4
my mommy and daddy
are screaming,
why are you angry?
daddy tries to hurt me,
did i upset you?
i am sorry if i did

3
my mommy and daddy
loved us so much,
and we loved them.

2
my mommy and daddy
and sister,
welcome to the world.

1
my mommy and daddy
loved me.

0
my mommy and daddy
couldn’t wait to meet me.