Terrified
Crying
Shaking
Sweating
Hyperventilating
At 2:37 in the morning
Because I dreamt of you

It seems so real
Even my unconcious mind
Tortures me

Never any sleep
My body is drained
Physically and emotionally

I have lost touch with reality

I cannot tell whether or not
Your hand is squeezing my arm
Or if your hand is around my neck

I still feel the sting of your slap
I still feel the tense bruising of your punch
I still feel the sharp pain of your fingers under my ribs
I still feel the life slipping out of me because your hand around my neck or my mouth
I still feel the poison of your lips on mine so forcibly

I never volunteered for that
I got out of it
I put it behind me
But it's like your still here

You left a lasting handprint
But I will cover it up
I will put makeup on it
I will tattoo over it
Anything

I will not allow you to still have control
You do not control me

Maybe I can't sleep because of the nightmares
Maybe I can't eat right because you never let me
Maybe I can't look in the mirror with a smile because you changed me
Maybe people can't touch me in certain ways because I will flashback to you

But I will overcome
I will sleep
I will eat
I will smile at my reflection
I will let a person touch me
I will overcome

Terrified
Crying
Shaking
Sweating
Hyperventilating
At 2:37 in the morning
Because I dreamt of you

B.C.